Hometown... Represent (?)

Willamina's in the news again. This is getting a tad bit absurd. Honestly, for such a small town, I fail to understand how it manages to end up in the news so often. Nothing really goes on there. Willamina's been in the news for bomb threats, crazy people, controversy over a cat at the library, an "illegal immigrant-free zone", overly-productive teenage girls, and now the H1N1 virus (yep, I'm not going to call it "swine flu" because the CDC is correct in their reasoning for why they won't call it that either). So, I suppose that stuff does go on there, but it's no more than any other small town. I really just don't get it. Maybe all the major news channels want an excuse to send their reporters out there so they can go to the casino (a.k.a. the second largest tourist attraction in the state)? I have no idea.

Can someone in Willamina please just win the Nobel Prize or something, so we don't look so ridiculous in the news? That'd be great, thanks.